This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
