my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
