I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
