hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
