I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
