these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
