eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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