On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
