I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
