DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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