Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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