Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
