i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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