I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
