Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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