You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
