I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
