I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
