Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
