I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you would pick up someone in the library
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
