Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
plz talk dirty to me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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