I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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