your thong is hanging out like whoa
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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