These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize