I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
