Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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