how can u be prego again
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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