If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will pee on everything he values.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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