Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
