fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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