Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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