I'm eating all of the evidence.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
jump out the window naked night went bad
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
