i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
