The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
