Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think your dad took our porno
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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