We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
