called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
