You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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