They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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