i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
