I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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