Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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