i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
