gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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