i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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