so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
