No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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