Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
