Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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