Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
