Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
