If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize