you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
