There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
