am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
