If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
