I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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