Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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