I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
