is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
