I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
