omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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